


Mirror Image

by Pippin4242



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Also there's 1337 words per chapter because I'm a tool or, Fai meets a double and everything goes to shit, Gen, Switching narrators, old!fic, to be fair, was using this concept as writing practice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-17
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-09-24 04:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9702722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pippin4242/pseuds/Pippin4242
Summary: After leaving the country of Jade, Fai encounters his double - and his double's still-living twin. What could have been an exciting experience turns increasingly uncomfortable for the whole party, and threatens Fai's primary motive: to watch over the cloned children until they can be brought back to Fei-Wang Reed.Despite it all, love remains.





	1. Chapitre One - Kurogane - Apples and Pears

By now, of course, we had come almost to expect it. Syaoran had identified various strangers as Sakura's brother, their high priest, and his own sensei; I had experienced my startling encounter with Tomoyo-hime (which is not to say that I didn't act like a fool, because I did), and we had even begun to encounter faces duplicated from friends we had made _after_ our journey began, like the hot-headed warrior lad who we met in that dream. Still, it must have been surprising for Fai. To open the door and to see himself standing there.

I'm not sure that that excused his hysterical response. He didn't run away, and he didn't scream, but for that strange friend of ours it was a precise analogue. His reactions have never exactly been normal, but I'm starting to see a pattern in them. And when he starts smiling like that, it's never a good sign.

It was a bright noontime in this new world, but we had departed from the last at dusk, and Sakura-hime was already asleep in my arms. She's a light little thing, and didn't much trouble me, but she was bound to wake with a crick in her neck, and I supported Syaoran when he suggested we find an inn immediately. The boy will make a good leader some day. Fai of course smirked, and asked if I was getting tired of being the group's beast of burden, but when I asked him if he would prefer to carry her himself, he simply skipped off and declared that he was our mascot, and couldn't be expected to do such things.

"But Fai-san," shrilled Mokona, "I thought _I_ was the mascot!"

"Oh, oh, I didn't mean to displace you!" chirruped Fai, grabbing Mokona and swinging it through the air. "But you are far more important than that! You are our translator, and without your help Kuro-pon would never be able to understand his family!"

And then they giggled, and made up a song.

I swear, if I wasn't cursed...

It was a beautiful place though, and truth be told, it was quite pleasant carrying the little girl. It gave me a good reason to go slowly and take in my surroundings, without having to cry out in delight at everything like Fai, or gawk like a bumpkin, which was Syaoran's reaction. The buildings were of strange craft; tall and slender, there was a good deal of glasswork in the façade of each; a different colour on every building; a jar of fantastic sweets, glittering in the sun. The people were holding a market, it seemed; and they were much untroubled, which was a definite bonus after some of the war-ravaged places we'd visited of late. The foods on each stall looked bizarre to me, and I know that if Sakura-hime were awake, she would immediately try to identify which one of them was an apple.

"Oi, mage." I nudged Fai. "Go and see if they'll take our money here... and if they do, then will you buy an apple?"

Fai looked for a moment as if he were going to protest automatically, but then his brain clicked into place, and he smiled and walked unhurriedly up to the very next stall. Syaoran was staring at the crowds, and didn't notice his departure for a moment – and visibly started when he did, wheeling with sudden worry.

"Ah, Kurogane-san! Where has Fai-san gone?"

"He's trying to work out what an apple looks like on this weird world," I replied. Just as I closed my mouth a woman walked past carrying what looked to me like a carrot – which was fully an arm-span in length, and a rather diverting shade of blue. It's always nice when fate illustrates your point.

Fai was chatting merrily to the young lady running the stall, and had most likely said something indecent, because she was blushing. He came back to join us, grinning from ear to ear, tossing a small green and red fruit like a ball, and holding a paper bag in his hand.

"Is that their apple?" I asked.

"Nope!" he grinned.

I resisted the urge to ask him why he'd wasted our money on it, because that would only be giving him what he wanted. Instead, I shifted Sakura-hime's weight onto one of my arms, and reached out to grab the fruit with my freed hand. It was a green-blotched pear, plain and simple. I tried to hide my irritation as I tossed it back at his head, and held Sakura-hime properly again.

"Why have you bought a-"

"A pear, right?" he asked cheerfully, catching it without looking.

"Well-" I stuttered, wrong-footed. He loves to do this to me.

"I just remembered what Papa said in the Hanshin Republic! These are exactly like the apples which we grew in my country."

"So..." murmured Syaoran. "Mokona can only translate the spirit of a sentence, and if we use different words for a similar thing, then the words get jumbled up..."

"Right!" said Fai. "And if it's a word which has no meaning to you two whatsoever, then it doesn't get translated at all! Kuro-fuu told me he's never heard of a laki fruit before, so that means he must be using my word for it." Mokona looked abashed at this. At least, I think it did. "Ah, don't worry, Moko-chan!" Fai added, brightly. "Think how useful it is that your spell is so clever! If we ever had to wear a disguise and change our names, for example, the people we lied to would hear what we wanted them to, and not what we were directly referring to!"

"Ne!" chipped Mokona, its ears rising in excitement. Syaoran still looked calculating as we carried on down the road. "So... if Fai-san wants me to call him Yukito-san, I hear him saying 'Call me Yukito,' even though 'Yukito' means 'Fai' in that sentence. That's clever!"

"So the only difficulty the spell makes for us," I found myself saying, "is that if we're using different words for similar things, the connotations get jumbled. It's most likely that we're not all using the word 'apple' in the first place. But maybe... it's a common fruit in all of our countries, which can be stored through the winter?" Syaoran nodded at that, looking satisfied, and Fai smiled at me. He started to eat the 'apple' as we walked on, and then another thought occurred to me.

"That can't possibly be right. When we first met you, you were geared as if you were going to climb a mountain. I've never seen so much fur in one place. How can so similar a fruit grow in the desert and in the tundra?"

Fai's perpetual grin left him for a moment as he considered, looking up at the few slow-moving clouds. "I didn't say we grew apples in my town. We had many imported goods too. So I suppose the connotations are still the same, right? The fruits probably grow in a similar environment. Or they could be hardier than you're thinking, I suppose." His smile returned at that. I wasn't at all sure that his statement fitted with his previous words, but the conversation had become so convoluted that I decided it was best not to press him on such a small point. Still, he had my interest now. I wondered how the magic did work, and whether it kept them from knowing my true name – the one which only Tomoyo-hime was meant to remember these days. I imagined so, because I heard Fai's taunts using the 'kuroi' sound in a way which wouldn't apply to my true name. A clever spell then, which allowed the northerner mage, with his strange sing-song language, to make a pun which both of us understood.

A pity it made him insufferable.


	2. Chapitre Two - Kurogane - Butterflies and Hurricanes

Strange, evasive creature. Fai always acted as if he had something to hide. I think that perhaps if he'll talk to me tonight, then I'll find out something of what troubles him so.

I don't hold out any great hope, though.

It was him who lead us here, of course. After wasting our money on an apple which looked like a pear, and then eating it before Sakura-hime even had a chance to see it, I wasn't overly pleased with him. But the damned trickster always plays his cards close to his chest.

"What's wrong, Kuro-wan?" he asked energetically, still sucking juice from his fingers. "Worried that our little princess won't get to see what we've been talking about?" He fell into step with me, and for the first time, I realised that his paper bag was full, as he opened it to show me...

"Daikon?"

"Aren't they just!" he exclaimed happily. "Okay, so that's not the name I know them by myself, but don't they look too... savoury to be a fruit? It must mean that they have nothing at all which stores like an apple here."

"What do you call them, Fai-san?" asked Syaoran, joining us with an intense look of scholarly curiosity. "They don't grow in Clow Country, and I've never heard of a daikon."

"Well they must be different in some ways, or I'd hear the same word," mused Fai, "but we have something which looks similar, called a radish."

"What does the writing on the bag say?" I asked Syaoran. "Can you read it at all?" Syaoran took the bag, and peered at it closely, holding it to his one sound eye.

"The writing doesn't look like anything much to me... it reminds me a little of the glyphs they used in the ruins of the Aeolian city which my father and I once mapped... but they're too different. I can't make it out at all." He passed the bag back to Fai, and we fell into step once more on our search for anything remotely inn-like.

Fai grinned at us both. "Don't you want to know what it says, then?"

I started. "You can read it?"

"Nope!" That same, dazzling, inappropriate smile. He let me steam in my own juices for a moment, and then he laughed. "But the friendly young lady on the fruit stand knows! She wrote it down for me. It's the local sign for an inn." I tried, probably unsuccessfully, to hide my annoyance.

"Why didn't you tell us that before? We've just been wandering around aimlessly!" I muttered, unable to stop myself.

"But Kuro-pii, you were so interested in the apples! And I've been looking out for the sign ever since I bought them." At that, I found myself mollified. He may be wildly eccentric, and utterly infuriating, but he's never given me any reason to think him untrustworthy.

Now, up until this point, our experience of this world, whilst nothing you could call everyday, was not odd compared to some of the other countries we'd visited. Things did, however, start getting quite uniquely strange, when a pink-cheeked young woman carrying an enormous sack saw us from across the square, and shouted in excitement.

"Fai-san, Fai-san!"she waved. She ran over to greet us, and looked at Syaoran and I with some curiosity. Her long brown hair was plaited neatly down her back, and her boots were high and sturdy. Something about her gave me the impression that she was dressed for work, and her next action did nothing to assuage me of the suspicion. "I'm glad I bumped into you here, Fai-san! Or is it?" she said with laughter in her tone, as she set down her sack and began to rifle through various packages. I looked at Fai with shock to see that he seemed as surprised as me. She straightened up, handing him a parcel addressed in the same foreign script we'd seen before. "I'm sorry I can't stop and talk, but I'm so late today! I fell asleep on my lunch break," she added with a self-effacing grin. "Thanks for saving me the trouble!" Fai reached out as if to try and stop her, or explain that she'd made a mistake, but her sack was already over her shoulder. "I'll drop by to catch up with you both on my next day off, okay?" she called, without looking back, as she raced across the square again.

"W-wait..." Fai called after her, lamely.

"Fai-san, who was she?" asked Syaoran, surprised but reasonable.

"I-" The mage ran his hand through his ridiculous floppy hair, pushing it out of his eyes. "I have absolutely no idea. I've never seen her before in my life."

Mokona bounced excitedly on his shoulder."Maybe we get to meet another Fai here!" Fai looked horrified at the prospect, and I'm not sure I blame him.

"Well, what am I supposed to do with the package?" he asked worriedly, holding it as if it were about to explode. I actually found myself feeling sorry for him, irritating though he might be. I stepped up behind him, and though my arms were otherwise occupied, tried to make my presence as reassuring as possible.

"Don't worry about it too much. Once we find an inn, we can ask the owners what they make of the address," I suggested calmly.

"Ah... but that's the other strange thing. I think a part of this address..." he singled out a line with his long finger, "matches this!" He held up the bag with the note scribbled on the side. "Could there be somebody who looks like me staying at an inn near here?"

"Stop looking so worried," I advised, with a half-smile. "If we find another you here, at least the odds are pretty fair that he'll be on our side." Strangely, he looked even more worried at that. If he'd only tell us what his problem is, I don't think I'd end up saying unhelpful things so often. "What," I asked tersely, "he'll hurl fireballs at us? If he's anything like you, which he will be, he'll be far too highly-strung to attack any of us."

Fai forced a smile at that. "Kuro-papa thinks I'm highly-strung?" I looked back at him for a moment, unsure of what to say.

Fortuitously, at that moment Sakura-hime stirred in my arms, and made a faint whimpering sound, instantly spurring Syaoran into action. "Come on, let's keep looking for an inn. We won't know for sure until it happens." Fai and I followed him obediently, knowing that once the boy gets an idea into his head, he can't be deterred.

We walked in comparative silence for the next ten minutes, Fai pausing to check every sign, and Syaoran continuing to stare as he tried to take in the entire scene at once. I felt like telling him to close his mouth. If this new country was that fascinating to him, we could take our time, after all. The princess's life was out of immediate danger.

"Aha!" called the mage triumphantly. I walked over to see what he was looking at. My arms were starting to seize up, but I didn't want to call attention to it. If the place looked in the least bit hospitable – which every building so far had – then I would simply suggest that we stay there, rather than keep searching.

The building wasn't as tall as those around it, but it was, if anything, even more colourful. Flowering plants trailed from every awning and crack in the alien façade, and the steps had been polished to a shine. "Hmm, do you think I should knock?" asked Fai cautiously, raising his hand to the glittering, multi-hued door.

Which opened, to reveal his doppelgänger.


	3. Chapitre Three - The Other Yuui - Dreams and Dreamers

I've been seeing him in my dreams for some months now. They say that it is easy for people with great magical power to see one another across dimensions, and I knew that he was just as strong as either of us from the moment I first saw him.

Of course, I've never quite been able to work out which one of us he is, or if there might even be two of him coming to ask us for help. In my waking hours, I've never had to bother about differentiating much, since I've always known which one I am. It's a rather easy process of elimination. Still, it was surprising when I finally opened the door to greet him – surprising how much he seemed to be his own person.

He was standing on my doorstep, with a look of shock upon his face. His fist was raised as if to knock at the door. He was wearing the outlandish clothes which he had brought from his homeland, and their gold-coloured buckles were gleaming in the sunlight, making me feel underdressed in my work-apron and slippers. Behind him were the companions to whom I had heard his dream-thoughts drift oft-times; the stern-faced ninja, the determined young boy, and the adorable little fairytale princess, stirring muzzily from her safe perch in the ninja's strong arms. The magical creature was there too; I couldn't yet see it, but I could feel its presence, thrumming across my mind; warm, and powerful, and very much alive.

The man before me – my brother, if I may be forgiven for thinking of him as such – was thinner than either of us, and some years younger; and he seemed sterner, somehow, than he had in his dreams. However, his smile was more dazzling than I would ever have imagined any expression of mine could become, as he extended a black gloved hand towards me.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance," he said, with an easy-going lilt to his speech. His grip was firm, but not overly so; something about it struck me as calculated. "You don't seem too surprised to meet me, so I suppose you might have had some idea that I was coming?" At that I found my voice.

"I've been watching your dreams for a little while," I admitted, a little guilty now I came to meet him. "Of course," I added, as an afterthought, "I had no choice in the matter." The white-furred creature popped out of my brother's hood, beaming at me. "It's another Fai!" it whooped in excitement, jumping onto my shoulder, and patting my close-cropped hair with its short-armed paws. That cleared up the issue of which twin was standing in front of me, and how many of him I was likely to meet.

"Actually," I told the little creature, trying not to flinch as its ears whipped about my face, "my name is Yuui."

"Odd," murmured the swarthy warrior, "all the other duplicates we've met so far have shared names." The boy looked thoughtful for a second, and then tugged at the outworlder Fai's sleeve.

"The girl in the square called you Fai though! Did she know it was actually you? Could she be a dimensional traveller too?" A look of slight strain flashed across the false-Fai's face.

"Perhaps we'd be better off talking inside." He looked directly at me for the first time, with a surprisingly harsh cast to his gaze. I almost apologised, before I realised I'd not yet done anything wrong. He paused momentarily on the threshold. "By your leave of course."

"O-of course," I agreed, as light-heartedly as I could. This was all going wrong. I'd expected meeting my otherworldy twin to be fascinating, educational, and above all, fun. I certainly hadn't suspected that I might dislike the man. I looked back through the door as I backed out of the way, and I saw nothing untoward on the faces of the other travellers. The boy was good-naturedly admiring the wall hangings as he stepped inside, and the warrior was setting the fatigued girl down with a look of surprising care. I realised they had probably never been inside a building in Alethia before, and strove to regain control of the proceedings. "The shoe-room is over here to the right, everybody, and there are hooks to hang your cloaks in the hallway... if you want to follow me through when you're ready, I've made some tea in preparation for your arrival..." I ducked through under the low beams into the private tea-room, and jumped nearly out of my skin when I saw my traveller-brother somehow waiting there already.

"Yuui, I really must talk to you alone for a few minutes," he implored, grabbing my arm by the wrist. "Would that be possible?" My heart melted to see him like that. He was clearly both worried and wearied, and for a moment he looked absolutely identical to the Fai I had grown up with. I felt a fool and a beast for ever having doubted his integrity; clearly, their travels had taken them through great hardships.

"Okay," I said, patting his arm where it gripped mine. "Don't worry, I'll guide your friends in here, and then we can go back into the shoe-room on a pretext. Is that alright?" His head drooped in clear relief as the tension left him. He gave my arm a quick squeeze before letting go.

"Of course it is." The group were already on their way down the corridor to the tea-room, the ninja gently supporting the princess, who looked about ready to drop down asleep again. "Come on Fai, I'll show you where to hang it," I said, perhaps a little louder than necessary, and the ninja gave me a queer look as I led my obedient other-brother back down the hall. He hung his cloak next to the great black one shed by his dark-skinned friend, and I pulled him quickly into the shoe-room, and closed the door behind me. I felt twelve years old all over again, sharing secrets with my twin, giggling and whispering, and fleeing whenever the adults looked at us. I wondered whether this Fai had shared a secret language with his brother too.

"Dreamseer, do you own this inn or are you staying here?" he asked, looking at me urgently.

"I am part-owner... but why is that so important to you?" I wondered what part of his question I had failed to understand. He looked distraught at my response.

"The other owner... is he your brother?"

"Yes, he's the you of this universe." I smiled at him, thinking how strange it would be when they were finally in the room together.

"Ah-" Other-Fai's breath caught for a moment, and he sank down to the bench, his head in his hands.

"What's wrong with that?" I asked him. "Do you wish not to meet your duplicate?"

"It's not that..." he whispered.

"Because if it is, I can see how it would be sort of strange... I could ask him to stay away! He'd be disappointed of course, but I suppose he could do it another time. Well, I imagine he couldn't. Not if you didn't want to..." I was babbling, filling the space left where his answers should have been. My brother-from-another-world looked up at me then, with anguish written on his young face.

"I'm not Fai at all," he whispered. "I'm Yuui as well."

I felt a sudden thrill then, knowing that I was looking at myself. But still, it didn't make sense. "Your friends-" I began, and he gave me an icy glare, which chilled me to the bone. Suddenly I felt sure once more. This couldn't be me. And then he spoke, his voice cold and clear.

"Fai is dead. I killed him."


	4. Chapitre Four - Fai - Flight and Fright

Everything is going to end. Everything.

From the moment when the girl picked me out by my face in the square, I'd been calculating. Trying to work out my next move. But my life was no game of chess, and it was impossible to gauge the moods of fate.

My childhood memories are faint. By sheer distance and by the force of my own will, I remember very little of those few halcyon years before Fai and I were first condemned. But traces remain yet of that disquieting sensation that one does not have exclusive ownership of that most personal of possessions, one's own face. As she panted and wiped the sweat from her eyes, laughing, I knew that the courier had mistaken me for another, and for one elating, horrific moment, I felt my brother's presence again, as if he were breathing over my shoulder, watching to see everything that I had been and was doing in his name.

My fingers turned cold and my hands clenched involuntarily as I remembered clutching at his tiny, broken body – the blood in his hair, the spent, exhausted expression on his face – and as I remembered as well Lord Ashura's kindness in providing for him a secure, watery grave, where, deep down, I suspect that my kind-hearted master hoped that I would never have to look upon Fai's face, my own, again.

No. This girl was no friend of my brother.

As she pressed upon me the package, clearly meant for another, I gathered my wits a little and I remembered Kurogane's encounters with Miss Sohma in the fantasy land within Edonis country, and how men with the faces of the highest nobles of Syaoran and Sakura's country had served us an evening meal in the Hanshin Republic.

So. Another me was here.

And that opened up a world of frightful possibility.

Naturally, I told my companions nothing of my fears. Syaoran was so intently focused on finding somewhere for his sweetheart to rest and recuperate that I thought it downright cruel to distract him from his task. Mokona, whilst charming and handy as ever, was probably not the most experienced among us when it came to human relationships. If I allowed our stern and thoughtful protector a glimpse into my reflections, Kurogane would only try and force me to tell him every last detail concerning my past and about the fate I was fleeing. And dear, sweet Sakura, with so many of her own problems. Why should I seek to worry her? No, my trepidation was my own, and quite insoluble.

I had thought, however, that I would have more than a twist of the hourglass before I would have to dream up some sort of stopgap to uphold my place in the group.

My twin. My reflection. Supposedly my double, and yet... he stood before me, sturdy and smiling, with calloused hands, and a propitiatory demeanour. What had I ever owned that did not belong to some other, more sheltered person? Those lucky individuals who exist in a state of certainty, sure of their own position, secure and entrenched in their daily routine. Was this facsimile of me more like those whose kindness I had come to rely on?

His smile was not practised. It had never needed to be.

I knew as soon as my eyes fell upon him that this was me, though it took me a moment to recall that his name would therefore be Yuui. That hateful sobriquet is something I had hoped to leave behind me.

This man, ye gods, is pleased to see us. Has been expecting us. I should have realised that, though I sleep without dreams, and soundly, my duplicate would see the dreams of others, just like the Dimension Witch, and Kurogane's beloved Princess Tomoyo in all her incarnations. He thinks he knows me already. How much does he know?

We step inside. The inn is scrubbed and well-trodden. There are paintings and cloth pictures hanging on the walls. They have been accumulated, I see, through a life of hard work and satisfying rewards.

And then, as I stand looking as much a country lad on his first trip to a big town as I ever will, the full realisation, its implications, suddenly hits me. Like an icy fist to the stomach, a thought so sudden and hard that I have to take a few discreet deep breaths lest I find myself examining once more that foreign apple upon my double's beautiful knotted rug.

Fai.

The knowledge that in this country, he like as not is living yet. That his feet have walked these halls. That those neat boots on their little shelf might belong to him.

Once again he is staring over my shoulder. He is never truly far away.

I did this to myself. I hear his name a hundred times a day, on the lips of those who have no idea of his existence, who could never imagine a creature so innocent and sweet, or the dreadful thing that I have done.

I must not let them know. Without the quest, what do I have? I have betrayed Fai. I have betrayed Lord Ashura. I have betrayed the people of Ceres when they depended on me. I have betrayed Valeria by the very fact of my existence. Without these new friends, I am nothing.

A plan. They do not know yet. The game is not lost. Yuui. Surely he will understand. I must appeal to his better nature… I only hope he has one.

As my de facto compatriots hem and haw at the charming interior, I move swiftly, following the light rose scent of the aforementioned tea. I can tell already that it will be excellent. Still more evidence that Yuui runs this inn. He enters, incautiously, not even glancing in my direction. I seize the moment, and his arm.

"Yuui, I really must talk to you alone for a few minutes."

He is surprised. Courteous. Warm and affectionate, and already speaking to me as if I am a brother. "Fine," he says, with a worried half-smile, and goes to arrange things so we won't be interrupted for a few minutes. Brisk and sensible, he distracts my companions and bids me to follow him into the shoe-room. Oddly, the first question to spill over my long-sealed lips is not the most pertinent. But yes, yes he owns the inn. And so does Fai, and perhaps they are expecting to meet my brother, since they are still together.

I will put a stop to that. I haven't the time for lengthy explanations. At any moment one of the others could come crashing in, and ask something utterly unanswerable. And so I put a stop to my soul-brother's yammering.

"Fai is dead. I killed him."

His hands, so curiously animated, stop moving, with as grave a finality as my words. I do believe, cliché of clichés, that the blood is actually draining from his face. He stares at me, with an unmasked fear.

"But…" he manages, clearly realising that time is of the essence, "…why? What happened?"

"Yuui, my dear, as boys, we were given a choice, and I made the wrong one. We haven't the time to talk now. Do not mention Fai. I cannot stress how important this is. Keep your brother away from my companions. Do not let anybody mention him. Though I have nothing against him, I will not be able to explain his presence to my group, which will surely fall apart if it comes out that I have been lying to them all this time." I pause. What can I say to one from whom I expect so much, in return for so little? "I cannot let their quest fail. It is more important than any of them imagine." Led astray by a sudden impulse, I find myself clasping his hand tightly. Finally, an opportunity for a little warmth. "I am sorry. Perhaps there will be time for explanations later."

 


	5. Chapitre Five - Sakura - Strawberries and Cream

It used to be that Fai-san was the easiest person to talk to in our group. He teaches me things, and he does my hair sometimes, and he never, ever judges me, or tells me off for forgetting things, or falling asleep when I shouldn't.

I used to be scared of Syaoran-kun. (Don't tell anybody, will you?) He was so intense, and so concerned about me, that I felt for a long time as if I was failing him by having to start all over again. I knew he wasn't a bad person – I can tell these things, you know – but being near him made me feel cruel, and I could never really work out why.

Kurogane... Kurogane-san is different. I don't remember meeting anybody like him before. He's so big, and he's so serious, and when I first met him, all he'd talk about was killing people, and getting away from the group, and how he didn't want to help at all. I thought he was mean, but I couldn't say anything, because he was protecting us anyway, even if it was only because he had to. I didn't really understand until Fai-san was teaching me to make scones, back in the world which was a game really (except we didn't know then). He said to me that Kurogane-san is a good man, and that he keeps quiet because he's always thinking. He said that Kurogane-san likes to protect people just as much as Syaoran, and that we could always trust them both to look after us, no matter what. After that, I was never secretly afraid when Kurogane-san acted fierce. Instead, it made me happy, because I knew it was for my sake.

Mokona is Mokona. Once you understand that, it's easy.

I am sleepy, and warm. I can feel myself swaying up and down, and I am enclosed, but somehow, not afraid. Slowly, I become aware of a soft storm of murmuring voices somewhere above my head, and I realise where I am.

He smells like polish, and leather, and the candles they burn for ceremonies. Also, just a little, not unpleasantly, of sweat. When I move my head slightly, I can hear his heartbeat thudding through his springy armour.

I like that.

I am starting to wake up now, and I can hear a voice I don't really recognise. Just as I try to look up and see who this new person is, Kurogane-san starts walking again, taking us both up a step, and down a step. He looks down at me, making sure that I am awake, and he lowers me gently to the ground, pressed against his body, so I don't fall. It's hard to say anything, I'm that tired, but I owe him at least that much, don't I?

"Mmmm... thank you, Kurogane-san," I manage, bowing slightly, in the way he always does when he's being really polite. He gives me an almost-smile, which makes me want to really smile, but I try to keep it inside. When I look around him, I can see that Fai is rushing off somewhere, looking kind of upset, and not really like himself.

"We have to take our shoes off here," said Kurogane, sitting down beside me, and unlacing his boots. (They're enormous!) I slide off my slippers, and I pass them to him, because I'm not sure where they're meant to be put. There's lots of little boxy shelves on the wall, and he puts our shoes together in one place.

"Are we in a new world now, Kurogane-san?" I ask him, not wanting to be stupid, but feeling like I have to make absolutely sure.

"Hmmm? Sure. It's kind of pretty outside. I think you'll like it. Some guy who looks like Fai runs this inn." He offers me a hand, and helps me stand.

"You mean he has a double here?"

"No... not exactly. The other guy looks older, and he says his name's Yuui."

"Oh," I hear myself say, as I straighten out my dress. That's funny. He must look a lot like Fai-san, or Kurogane-san wouldn't have bothered to say it. I wonder if he's the double of one of Fai-san's relatives? Then again... does Fai-san have relatives? Neither Kurogane-san or Fai-san ever really talk about their families.

We walk together, with Kurogane-san just behind me, but somehow managing to lead the way. There's a room with a very low ceiling, with wooden beams, and it smells really good. Like flowers. Fai-san rushes past us again, and Kurogane-san is right, that other man does look a lot like him. For just a moment, I wonder if Kurogane-san is going to fit, but he ducks, and sits on the low bench as if he's done it a thousand times before, and I join him. There are tea things on the table. Two big pots, and six cups, and a little cup beside them, and a jar of something sticky-looking. I think the teapots are probably where the flower-smell is coming from. I imagine that Kurogane-san will only be able to pretend he likes the tea, if it tastes as sweet as it smells.

A noise behind us surprises me. "Ah, Syaoran-kun!" I smile up at him, making sure I look as healthy and happy as I can.

"You're awake, then..." he says, sounding bored, but looking pleased.

"I feel much better now!" I add, cheerfully. "Was I asleep for very long?"

"You missed a girl who thought she knew Fai-san," allows Syaoran-kun, taking a place opposite me. That makes me laugh. I can just picture them!

"Did he pretend he knew her right back?"

"Um, she didn't really give him chance. It was pretty strange. Have you ever seen him not know what to say?" That makes me smile too. My friends are all so kind to me, but they're all so different to each other! "This is a really interesting place, though... the buildings are tall, and they're really colourful." His face lights up as he tries to find words to describe his excitement. "Oh, have you met Yuui-san yet?"

"No, I think he went somewhere with Fai-san... I wonder if the tea is ready to drink?"

Kurogane-san shifts beside me slightly, looking back into the hallway with an expression mixed between curiosity and irritation. But before he can say anything, Fai-san appears at the door, holding a wide, cream-coloured plate, stacked high with little cakes. (They look delicious. Each one has a strawberry on the top, sitting upright in a whirl of cream). Except... it isn't Fai-san, is it? That's Fai-san, just behind him, holding a milk jug, and grinning like he's about to explode. The other man – it must be Yuui-san – is older, anyway. There are little smile-lines around his mouth and eyes, and it makes him look even kinder. His hair is much shorter, and I think he didn't shave this morning. (Not that I've ever seen Fai-san shave. I wonder how old he is? Or maybe he does it in secret...)

Fai-san and his friend (well, I can't imagine that they're not friends, looking so like each other!) both come and sit at the table.

"Good afternoon, my dear!" says Yuui-san, after a brief, strange pause. He's looking straight at me, smiling brightly, and he extends a hand towards me. It's large, though not as large as Kurogane-san's, of course. He has lots of little white scars, and a bandage around one of his fingers. I give him my hand, a little uncertain, and he shakes it briefly, looking satisfied. I bow very slightly, not sure what's polite in this world.

"I'm Sakura; it's a pleasure to meet you! I'm very sorry that I was asleep when we arrived!"

At that, Fai-san bursts into high, clear laughter. "It's not as if you could help it, is it, my dear?"


	6. Chapitre Six – Syaoran – Analysis and Conjecture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my kind commenters for suggesting that it might be worth picking this back up. I'll have a crack at untangling the knots I left myself in this fic, but it's a long time since I started it!
> 
> It contains a few things I might now have tackled slightly differently – in particular, I'm now aware of the existence of meta materials giving Soel and Larg gendered context, but I'm not completely convinced that anything should apply here beyond _Mokona is Mokona_ , this being a Tsubasa fic as opposed to Horitsuba. If I began the fic today I'd probably use 'they,' which I hadn't seen a lot of at the time, but as I've started with 'it,' in reference to these non-human magical construct creature-people, I think I'll continue in kind. I mean no offence and please let me know if this bothers anybody, as I'd be happy to reconsider my decision.

They are all so good to me, and more so than they know. Since the day my father took me in, I've known nothing but kindness from all the people I've met. They've made sure I want for nothing, but sometimes I wonder why it should be so. What have I ever been able to give back? All I've achieved so far is keeping my father's home occupied and his work alive, and even saying that I'd stay living in town to do that that seemed to make the Princess sad. I wonder, did I do the right thing?

It's this lingering feeling of guilt, of responsibility, of not being able to do anything for others, I think, that makes me so alert to the tension in the air. Yuui-san is being kind to the Princess, and Fai-san isn't saying anything strange. I suppose that could be what's bothering me – Fai-san is usually busy saying something strange, just to lighten the mood. Kurogane-san isn't saying anything at all. The Princess looks sleepy, but she's taking a bite of cake, which somehow makes me feel a little more relaxed. It's so good to see her awake and eating more often. I wonder if she's eating enough? She's my responsibility. I mustn't let Fai-san and Kurogane-san take charge of her too often. The Princess catches my eye just at the wrong moment – she's just taken a really large mouthful, and she's embarrassed now she realises I'm watching her, and nearly chokes.

I find myself leaping to my feet to go to her aid – why do I always over-react like this? I've knocked the chair over now, and made a scene. I can feel myself blushing, and Fai-san had already passed the Princess a handkerchief. They're all looking at me, and Yuui-san especially. His hand hovers over the syrup bowl, and he's staring, wide-eyed.

Mokona has a teacup full of whipped cream instead of tea, and breaks the silence by laughing at me.

“Syaoran-kun's _SILLY_!” It jumps up towards my face in glee, and pats me on the tip of the nose with a tiny pink paw, leaving a smudge of cream behind.

“Sorry, sorry,” I mutter, wiping my face with the back of my hand. I pick the chair up, making as little noise as possible as I sit down again.

“No, Syaoran-kun, it's me who's sorry!” blurts the Princess, who's gulped down her mouthful and hastily dabbed at her lips. “I should be more careful when I eat! You thought I was choking, didn't you? Goodness, my family taught me better manners than this. I'm so sorry, I've just been really tired, and the cakes looked so _good_ , Yuui-san - please, won't you tell me how they're made?”

Somehow this seems to _work_. I'll never know how she does it. Yuui-san takes a seat and begins chatting cheerfully with her about recipes while Fai-san listens, rapt, Mokona eats four of the cakes before anybody else seems to notice, and Kurogane-san sips at his tea in mute intensity. Perhaps this is as relaxed as the afternoon is about to get. However did things get so tense in the first place? Surely Fai-san would usually have made a joke or two by now? He seems... bright, but brittle. Why is he so unsettled? Perhaps he doesn't like meeting his other self?

_Hypothesis: Fai-san dislikes himself._

_Evidence: He has been out of sorts since we encountered the delivery lady who recognised his face.Yuui-san doesn't seem to have said or done anything out of the ordinary, at least not in my presence, and he seems just as nice as Fai-san. Could Fai-san, in general, be compensating for genuine self-loathing?_

_Rebuttal: They're not so alike that Fai-san should feel as if he's looking in a mirror. In fact, they don't even share a name._

“Fai-san, why is it that you and Yuui-san don't have the same name?”

Fai-san shines the brightest of smiles to me. “That's an easy one, Syaoran-kun!” Yuui-san gives him this _look_ for just a moment, as though there's no _way_ it could be easy. “I moved away from my family as a boy, and Fai D. Fluorite is the name I was given by somebody most precious to me.”

Kurogane-san puts down his teacup. “So precious you can't bear to be near them, even at the cost of your precious tattoo?”

Fai-san smiles even more brightly, as if that were possible. “Now when did I ever say that I was trying to avoid that person in particular, Kuro-nya?” Kurogane-san doesn't seem impressed.

_Hypothesis: Fai-san doesn't smile because he's happy._

_Evidence: If he cares a lot about the person who gave him his name, why is he smiling more now? I know for sure his wish was to never, ever go home._

_Rebuttal: Maybe just thinking of that person makes him happy. Who in the world smiles because they're sad?_

Kurogane-san is still giving Fai-san an intense, inscrutable look. “So you were called Yuui as a child?”

“I was. I didn't have a family name; where I was born, that wasn't necessary. Do you have a family name, Yuui? I understand from my travels it's far more common to have one than not” He turns the conversation away from himself, to the slightly startled Yuui-san.

“Yes, yes – we – my family, that is to say – have the surname Vasiliev. They say it means one descended from royalty, not that I think we inherited any of the benefits, ha ha! We – we were poor, when I was a child.”

_Hypothesis: Yuui-san doesn't like Fai-san._

_Evidence: He's very awkward. He seems to be getting upset, and if he's like our Fai-san, shouldn't he usually be relaxed with people?_

_Rebuttal: He knew we were coming, and he made us these beautiful little cakes and this very nice tea._

_Counterpoint: He runs an inn. Perhaps he doesn't know how not to be nice?_

The Princess smiles across the table, sleepily oblivious to the tension in the air. “Is that syrup to go in the tea, Yuui-san? Then, Kurogane-san, could you pass it here please?”

Kurogane-san passes her the syrup with a face as ominous as a mountain cave. He isn't looking at her at all. He's staring at the two Fais.

“What about your brother, Yuui? What's he called?”

Yuui-san's hands are shaking as he holds his teacup. He looks pleadingly at Fai-san.

“Oh, that's right!” says Fai-san, brightly, as if he can't tell that something's wrong. “We've got something for you with our bags! There was a lady at the marketplace, making deliveries, with a long brown plait. She thought I was your brother, Fai. She said that you were hard to tell apart from him. Does he work here too?”

“Yes!” says Yuui-san, abruptly. “I wasn't sure whether you'd find it strange if you found out that I had a brother – when I saw you in my dreams, you were always alone.” He's drinking the tea too fast, as though he can't taste its overpowering sweet flavour.

“How very interesting,” says Fai-san smoothly. “Fai was a family name of mine, which is why I suggested it when I was renamed. I wonder whether your brother is a double of any relative of mine? Are you similar in age or is there a large gap?”

“We're twins,” says Yuui-san, quietly, as though relieved. “He's out at the moment, but I expect he'll be back shortly, if you should like to meet him?”

“That sounds just wonderful, doesn't it, everybody?” smiles Fai-san.

“Three Fais, three Fais!” chirrups Mokona, tossing a strawberry excitedly from paw to paw. The Princess laughs demurely; “that _will_ be nice!” Kurogane is watching Fai-san and Yuui-san, his expression saying very little.Yuui-san is looking down into the teacup, and saying nothing at all.

Fai-san's hands are completely relaxed as he holds his teacup firmly.

_Hypothesis: Fai-san is very good at lying._


	7. Chapitre Seven – The Other Fai – Smoke and Mirrors

I knew the Other from our dreams was here from the moment he stepped into our world. My twin, Yuui, sees dreams with clarity and purpose. I'm a dreamseer as well, but my ability is nothing compared to his. I get strong emotions from my visions, and wake with jumbled memories, colourful images fading from my mind, and a warm, contented feeling. But when it comes to sensing nearby magic? I'm the _best_.

Doesn't factor into running an inn too often, though. Once or twice Yuui's foreseen disaster before it can happen – he leaves discreetly to stamp out burning rubbish in the alleyway, or suddenly wakes in the night to check the roof tiles. I've caught people trying to cheat us with their powers and taken them outside for a discreet little chat. We don't advertise our abilities; they make too many people uncomfortable. Even so, they find their ways to us: whispers from the desperate, beggars and travellers showing up at night, knocking under the kitchen window: _heal us, strengthen us, guide us._ We do what we can, but I know we lack education in the magical arts. Our family would never have allowed us magical schooling, but now, estranged as we are, I can't help wondering what we might have achieved if we'd fled them as children and thrown ourselves on the mercy of some old hedge wizard. What we might have achieved not only for ourselves, but others.

What I am able to do, I can. I fill stomachs, I carry bags, I provide warm beds. I listen to secrets, I know where power moves, and sometimes I ease pain. Maybe these skills are compatible, and maybe I am doing enough with my abilities. Still, I often wonder.

I'm at market when I sense the Other arrive. Yuui told me to expect a dark-skinned fighter with a sword of incredible length, a troubled teen boy with a shadow over his heart, a child princess, a creature born of powerful magic, and either one or two of us. I can feel immediately that it's one. My heart clenches and sinks for him: I cannot imagine the quest which could tear me from my twin's side. They are surely here on some great and urgent mission.

Mine is important in different ways.

_Cream_  
_Flour_  
_Powdered sunroot_  
_Rangala (3)_  
_Eggs (26)_  
_Check standing order with butcher_  
_Pay water bill_

I complete my mission to the last point even as I can feel my soul-brother somewhere in the streets nearby. I am calm and this is fine. Even if their task is very important, I won't do them any good by searching in a panic. Yuui is sure they will come to us, and I am sure of him.

I enter through the trade door, put my boots in their notch, and start to pack away our purchases. I can hear the occasional laugh from one of the guest rooms, but it wouldn't do to burst in. Yuui is definitely here as well, and he'll tell me what's happening any moment now. I scrub out the sunroot pot so the taste won't go stale, and leave it to dry on the windowsill. I can feel a warm presence spreading across my back, and I turn to the door.

I catch my twin as he stumbles into the kitchen, not looking where he's going. “Woah there, pardner,” I joke. “Where's the stickup?” He clings to me and struggles to calm his breathing, as he often does after dreamseeing.

“He's not what we were expecting,” he half-whispers, hands bunching the fabric of my shirt, and kneading it in agitation.

“They've arrived?” I can't hide my excitement, for all that my brother is clearly distraught, and even though I knew it in my bones already. I stroke his hair gently as I wait for him to calm himself. Flighty thing. He looks strong but I know of the two of us, it's more necessary that I keep myself dependable.

“It's just one,” whispers Yuui. “He's me, but he calls himself Fai. Says that he _killed_ his twin, or had you killed, or something.”

This sounds like an important thing to not yet fully have grasped. I take a quiet, deep breath before I speak.

“Okay. Do we know why?”

“Something about... a choice, he said he made a bad choice. But he said he _killed_ you, Fai...”

“And uses my name? Come on, think about it. Maybe he's just upset about my death. Maybe it's something he couldn't help?”

It's a bit troubling to go straight to 'my' death, 'my' name, but it _is_ really, in some essential sense, and I'm pretty sure that's what's got Yuui so troubled. I'd rather cut to the heart of the matter and try to make him feel better than to be precise for the sake of precision. That's why I'm his brother, after all.

He also draws a breath, centres himself, looks me in the eye, draws himself to his full height.

“I don't know. I know that he regards his quest as so important that his companions cannot know more about his past. That he's running from something. And they don't know he's a twin, and he really doesn't want them to know. He said it was of more importance than his companions could ever know, and they seem to think it's really important. What if it's a Great Magic thing?”

“He's definitely powerful. I can feel it clearly. I've been able to since he showed up. I don't know if that makes him more or less trustworthy, but I can tell you it definitely could be Great Magic, not our hedge wizardry.”

Yuui bites his thumb, as he often does when he's worried.

“His companions don't seem to know the first thing about his abilities. They seemed really concerned about our names not matching. He told me not to tell them about you, when he got me on my own, but it fell apart very quickly.”

I consider this, admittedly not for very long.

“We should tell them.”

“What? No!” Yuui looks at me as though I've betrayed him.

“I'm serious. If some Great Magic version of one of us is running around the multiverse, lying about who he is and having all that power with nobody to keep him in check, doesn't that worry you?”

“It does,” admits my brother, ducking his head away from me for a moment. “But not as much as his coldness when he told me I had to cover for him. I think that... either he completely believes that he's right, or he completely believes that I will do what he tells me to do.”

“There's a child involved, isn't there?” I cajole him. His eyes flick up to mine, but then he looks away.

“You're so _sure_ already, Fai... I can't be certain about this. The younger two are actually about the same age as each other, if that matters. They're young adults, not little children. I expect that has nothing to do with it. But what if he really cares? What if he knows the situation better than us, and he's doing what's right?”

“He's looking bloody shady while he does it, if that's the case.” I'm not convinced, and I don't like hearing Yuui take his side so easily.

“Let's not tell them about his twin yet though,” wheedles my brother. “We can't go back on it if we do. Can't we try and find out more about what's going on?”

It's true that we can't take it back. And there's a part of me which would like to believe that either of us could put every ounce of faith into another world's version of us. But I can hear the crack in my twin's voice and I am sure of one thing: Yuui is very much afraid of the mage who calls himself Fai.


	8. Chapitre Eight – Mokona – Swings and Roundabouts

Oh wow, everyone seems SUPER STRESSED OUT. Good thing they've got Mokona on the case! Mokona knows the cure for when you're feeling all bad and hot and cross. SOME people say it's getting drunk and silly, but that's for when you're already in a good mood. And Mokona doesn't think that Mokona's lovely companions are in a very good mood at all! So what they need is DEFINITELY a nice bath. And Fai's double says that's what they're all about here!

Yuui's clearing the table and it looks like Fai's about to go and help him, when in walks ANOTHER YUUI. Wow! Mokona's barely used to the FIRST extra Fai, but this one's that Fai's twin, his real identical twin! They look even more alike than Maru and Moro. Good thing they're not dressed the same, or we'd never be able to keep track! The other other Fai comes over to see him and gives him a firm handshake, the kind where you use both hands, and then a big warm hug. Our Fai looks kind of surprised, which is fun to see, but he gives him a hug back. Yeah! Mokona's all about this! Mokona bets they're going to get along really well~❤ 

Sakura's all sleepy still, but Mokona likes how much colour she's got back in her cheeks. Mokona is glad there were enough cakes for her to have some too, even though she eats the slowest! She keeps rubbing her eyes with the backs of her wrists whenever she thinks nobody's looking but MOKONA! SEES! EVERYTHING! So Mokona jumps up and plays with her hair for a bit – that'll keep her awake~❤

Syaoran goes all gallant and funny and sticks his elbow out so she'll take it, and Yuui shows them to their room. Fai and Kurogane mill around in the tea room for a bit trying to help out, but they're being boring so Mokona goes off up the stairs to find the children.

They've been put in a super nice room, with floorboards and a pretty rug and a jug and basin and a fireplace for the winter. There's only one bed but it's really big so Mokona thinks even Syaoran will be okay with that? If he isn't Mokona will make fun of him until he is! It makes Mokona so happy when Syaoran relaxes and is just normal and sweet. He's such a good guy. Sakura's already all cuddled up in the big patchwork counterpane, but she's looking out of the window with Syaoran when Mokona arrives. Mokona loves seeing them side by side. They seem okay. Mokona goes back downstairs instead, and bumps into the other Fai rushing up with a stack of freshly laundered towels.

 _Our_ Fai is sitting on the floor in the shoe room, putting on his boots. Kurogane is standing over him looking like a growly angry Papa.

“You don't think it would be more interesting to stay here and talk to your other selves?” he's asking. “You don't think it would be... fun?”

“Kuro- _chan_ ” Fai chides him, “where would the children be if their parents were to just up and do whatever they wanted?” He smiles and pulls the strap of his buckle very tight.

“Hmmph,” says Kurogane, clearly dissatisfied.

“I'm only going out into town to have a little look around! It's already late afternoon, and I want to catch the tail-end of the market so I can ask a few more people whether they've seen anything unusual. I've got Sakura-chan's best interests at heart, Daddy!”

“Joke's getting old, mage.”

A flicker of annoyance crosses Fai's face. His back's to Kurogane. Mokona guesses he doesn't know that Mokona is here.

“Well?” he asks, lightly. “Are you coming or not?”

“I'm going to at least tell everyone where we're going,” growls Kurogane. “Don't think I don't know you're trying to avoid them.”

“Do as you will.” Fai smiles as he stands, ready to leave, poised by the door.

Kurogane stamps off in his socked feet to announce his departure. WOW, how did everyone get so cross? Mokona feels really left out!

Mokona pops out to ruffle Fai's hair too. It's not tied up like Sakura's, so it's easier to get it really good and messy! “Mokona is coming too,” Mokona tells him, and he perks up a bit. It's hard to be sad when something warm and fluffy presses up against you! Mokona misses the other one like Mokona. Mokona tickles Fai's ears with Mokona's and he laughs, and pulls Mokona down into his arms, where Mokona can't bother his face any more.

“Thanks,” he says, quietly, and nuzzles Mokona's head for a moment.

When Kurogane comes back, we go off into town together. Kurogane's all cross and quiet and trying to be scary, but Mokona knows he never does these things to be bad!

Some of the stalls selling fresh foods are already packing up, but the people selling goods and papers and things are all still open for business. Fai's really nice to people the whole time, while he's looking for information – looks like it's easy for him. He makes people laugh and he flirts with all the pretty girls and meanwhile it looks like Kurogane's getting madder and madder. We spend a couple of hours out together like this and Mokona feels like Mokona's getting to know them both better.

Eventually the sun is getting heavy in the sky. The hot orange light makes the buildings sparkle, pika pika! Seems like the guys were asking the wrong kinds of questions, because we haven't gotten anywhere at all. Maybe Kurogane's cross because Fai wasted his time when he could have been getting to know his other selves? This is such a fun journey, even when it's dangerous or scary, so it would be nice to enjoy the good parts as much as we all can. Somehow, Mokona doesn't think it's the right time to tell Fai off, though. So Mokona just sits in his arms and pretends to be a toy, and we walk back to the inn together in silence.

Dinner is really tasty. There ends up being fresh fish with spices Mokona has never tasted before! Yuui and Fai weren't asked to, but they bring Mokona Mokona's own portion, and it's just SCRUMMY. Sakura eats all of hers, which is great! Syaoran watches her really closely, but at least he eats all of his too! Then there's dessert, which tastes AMAZING again, hot gooey cake topped with sauce or cream. Mokona asks for both and gets given both! It makes swirly puddles on the plate, dark and light, and then Mokona misses the other Mokona all over again. Yuui and Fai have other guests, but they come over to see us lots, and the two girls also looking after people stay away.

When we bathe, it's all together. There's a big room in the basement with gentle lights and soft music, and all the other guests seem to know where to go and what to do. It's not SUPER busy, but we wouldn't want to get it wrong. So Syaoran asks nicely if Sakura could be considered young enough or unwell enough to come to the boys' side, and whichever twin we're talking to twinkles at us, and says it should be fine, but to keep an extra special eye on her. Nobody asks which side Mokona is meant to be on.

Later, Mokona goes to a quiet place all alone, and tries to tell Yuuko all about how strange Fai's being, and how it seems to make Kurogane sad and angry in turns. Yuuko doesn't seem to mind though. “The mage will do what he will,” she reassures Mokona, and “everything is _hitsuzen_.” It's not really a helpful answer at all, but somehow just being in touch with the other one like Mokona is reassuring and warm and right.

So when Mokona sleeps it's peaceful and nice.


	9. Chapitre Nine – Kurogane – Blood and Water

How do you define strangeness when it comes to someone like Fai? Wherever we go, I'm worried he's going to make a scene. I understand that his world must have norms different to my own, but I think even at home he must have been a curious one. His strangenesses are never the same two days running. He fits in better with children than adults, with women than men – except whenever he doesn't. He seems powerful and controlling, except when he seems helpless and confused. He always makes too much eye contact, or not enough.

Even so and even for him, he's being fucking weird.

Maybe it's the sharp relief of the other Fais that's making it obvious. They don't seem like unusually good or bad people, but it's obvious that they're used to accounting for their own actions. At breakfast this morning the twin we met second, Fai, seemed downright guilty not to have given us more information about the possible whereabouts of the feather. I didn't feel overly inclined to tell him that we left abruptly because his other-world self was being strange, especially not as he's still been shooting me the occasional menagerie-animal curious look, and seems faintly surprised every time he gets a coherent response out of me. I haven't said anything to the children, who are somewhere in between, but people here look a lot more like Fai than like myself. This is the first time it's rankled.

“There's been nastier water walkers at the edge of town than the old folks say they've seen in decades,” the other Fai informs me breezily, stacking plates without looking down. He keeps attempting to make eye contact with our Fai, and I keep trying to maintain it myself. Irritating. He looks back to me, too late. “Is that the kind of thing you meant?”

“What's a water walker?” I manage, trying not to let my feelings show in my voice.

“You know, with the – the claws?” he starts, then realises there's no familiarity registering for anybody at our table. “Okay, I'll be right back.”

As the dining room begins to clear, I realise I like the sound of something big and clawed and worse than usual. Perhaps I'll finally have a chance to unsheathe this second-rate sword. Do something... big, and strong, and direct. Get my blood up and strike out so hard I'll feel the reverberations in my joints the next day. Yeah. That would be nice.

I carefully remove Sakura's head from her plate, and try to discreetly remove the scrambled egg from her hair before anybody else notices.

From the kitchen, Yuui catches my eye and gives me a faint, but real smile, and removes his apron. He comes and sits with us, and I wonder if they often switch places like this. They're wearing the same outfit today, pale blue shirts and heavy fabric trousers. Did Fai even realise that he said he was the one who was going to explain to us? Do people usually notice if they do that? Sakura and Syaoran don't appear worried, and Fai's seemed worried since we got here, so it's possible that I'm the only one who can tell them apart.

“None of you have water walkers where you're from?” Yuui asks, in a softer voice than during tea yesterday. We all nod or shake our heads in agreement. I hate open questions. “They're skin-changers. That is to say – creatures who take on the aspect of things nearby. Nobody knows what they look like naturally, because if you get one in a cellar on its own, it'll just start to look like you. But whatever shape they take, they use their long claws to walk over the water.” He claws his own hand, and drags gently at the tablecloth, making ripples.

“Are they a threat?” I ask, slightly impatient. “Is it normal to go and kill them?”

Yuui's mouth twists in agitation as he chews his words. “A lot of people wouldn't fight them because it's dangerous. You just avoid water anywhere...” He mulls it over. “Sad. You avoid sad water.”

“How can water be sad?” asks Syaoran, intrigued.

“Water remembers,” says Sakura, gently.

“Water remembers,” repeats Yuui. “Yes. Where terrible things happened on purpose, or where sad things happened that nobody knows about. The sites of battles, but also... a place where a mother unwillingly gave up her child. A riverbank where someone used to go to cry alone. It can happen to any body of water, and they stay attractive to walkers for many hundreds of years, if the hurt is strong enough. But water walkers are shy. They don't usually enter inhabited areas. I think... they're what you'd call a monster. Certainly they eat people – ” Sakura covers her mouth in horror, which is kind of cute, to be honest “– but ravines and storms and fires eat people too, don't they? Don't put your hand inside a predator's mouth. Don't go walking in the hills during a thunderstorm. Don't go to sad water unprotected.”

“But these are worse?” asks our Fai, sipping at his tea.

“These are following people further than you'd expect. They're bigger. Crueller. And it sounds like the sightings are all centred around one place”

“Thanks for breakfast,” Syaoran says abruptly, and is already rushing to the shoe room. Yuui hides a smile.

“I'll go and find a map,” he says, diplomatically.

We make short work of the water walkers. Yuui had undersold them: their rot-like purple-mottled skin, with its marble hue changing like the surface of the water, their faces changing to look more human as we drew closer. The screams they make as I cut them down.

Sakura watches impassive.

“They were very sad,” she says, “but when they went away, the water was happier. Their claws hurt this place more than anything now. I feel awful that I made them too strong, if they were meant to be here anyway.” She turns her face away for a few moments.

“What do you think?” I ask Mokona.

Mokona turns its head from side to side. Its ears prick up and its eyes bug out. “BOING!” it shouts in excitement, and gestures with a stubby paw to a huge pipe feeding into the river from the hill and the houses above, cut off from human interference with wide-spaced iron bars.

“Oh, that's good. I'm the smallest,” says Sakura mildly, and it sounds as though she doesn't intend to be argued with. In fact, Mokona's the smallest, but the pork bun is sitting in Syaoran's hood, and doesn't seem inclined to kick up a fuss.

“Will you be alright?” asks Syaoran, possibly with more urgency in his tone than he meant to show.

She thinks about it, not wanting to fob him off. “Yes.”

So he gives her a leg up into the drain, and she crawls in with painful slowness, her body weakened by lack of use as much as anything else. The water flow grows wider as it travels about her body, and then goes back to normal as she vanishes from view, leaving the four of us here in silence. Syaoran stands close to the grate, watching nothing. We are silent. A bird shrieks, and Fai flinches slightly.

A tiny shout emerges from the pipe. Syaoran listens insistently.

“She's got it,” he tells us, in a voice ragged with relief. “She doesn't want to fall asleep, so she's holding it through her dress.”

It's a sodden, mud-strewn Sakura who emerges from the pipe, her hair plastered across her face, moving awkwardly forward with one hand bunched in her skirts. She pokes her head and shoulders out between the bars, and Syaoran helps her down, even as she releases her iron grip on the feather, and gratefully accepts it back into her body.

“Good work,” I tell her, as she passes out.


	10. Chapitre Ten – Syaoran – Gateway and Port

She used to ride on my back.

Kurogane-san is carrying the Princess again as we leave. I really want to be close to her, especially in a moment like this, when I can't hurt her any more with my closeness. I don't want to take advantage of her, but I so, so want to be able to be like we were, even just for a little while. She used to ride on my back and point, and laugh, and scream out with the joy of it all until we fell down in a dizzy heap.

It's so wrong of me to think it, but I know deep down that, though she'll always be Princess Sakura, and more so when she gets all of her memories back, she'll never be my Princess Sakura.

And Kurogane-san has the strongest arms and the widest shoulders. So it's only natural he should carry the Princess now.

I follow them.

_“–not as if I haven't tried to talk to you about this before –”_

_“What could you possibly be so worried about, Kuro-pin?”_

_“See, it's deflecting like this that pisses me off! I'm not your enemy! We got sent on this mission_ together _. The Space-Time Witch isn't exactly someone I see eye to eye with, but she thought it was okay for the two of us to be in charge of_ children _. Drop the Papa and Mama stuff and act like a normal, responsible adult for once – will you just_ talk _to me?”_

I don't like seeing her head bobbing up and down while Kurogane-san walks, but I can't tell him to do it differently when I don't have the strength to carry her far with ease myself. She can't hold on, unconscious. If I fell, it wouldn't be a joke.

 _“Fine then, cards on the table, everybody happy. What is it you_ want _from me, Kurogane?_

 _“You're_ impossible _, mage. It's patently obvious you've been covering something up since we met on the lawn. Don't you realise you're the only suspicious one here?_

Bob, bob, bob. I tell myself he's walking with a bounce anyway, because of the springy turf at the banks of the river, and that I've got nothing to worry about.

_“I'm not hiding anything! What have I done that's so suspicious?_

_“You're the only party member with an unclear motive for being here. The bean bun was sent by the witch, I'm here because I got fucking banished, which is_ not _something I'm proud of or like talking about, but I've still made sure you know about it, the Princess is here because_ otherwise she'll die, _and the kid's obviously head over heels for her. What about you, mage? Why are you running?”_

_“Well... that is to say... what if Tomoyo-hime wanted you dead, Kurogane? What if she wasn't just angry enough with you to try to send you away forever, and instead, you were sure she was going to chase you across every reality you could send yourself to?”_

_“What?”_

_“I'm serious. Think of your Tomoyo-hime. Really think about what she means to you.”_

_“Hn.”_

_“What if you still felt all of that... but she was on her way to obliterate you? You've just told me you don't like to talk about how you caused a fuss and got sent away. I can understand that. I can respect that. But at least... it's just shame. And pain. How would you feel if all of that had happened, but she was also planning on killing you?”_

Look at those wet clothes. I'm trying not to see it, but the sodden hem of the Princess's skirt is draped over Kurogane-san's arm and I hate it.

_“Picture her face, Kurogane. Could you raise a hand to her?”_

_“I... don't think I could._

_“Even if it was the right thing to do?”_

Kurogane-san and Fai-san are talking with each other. They've been upset since Fai-san admitted he'd changed his name as a child. I'm not really sure I understand why they've both been so cross. It seems as though they might be working things out now, though. Their voices are calm again. ...Sometimes it seems hard for me to focus on the words around me. It's only natural to keep the Princess foremost in my mind though, isn't it?

_“Mage... I find it difficult to imagine a situation where raising my hand to Tomoyo-hime could ever be the right thing to do. And I can't be sure, but I don't think I'd hold her in the same regard, if she was somebody who I would need to harm to... protect myself or others.”_

Fai-san kicks a stone into the river, his shoulders slouched.

_“It'd be hard, right?”_

_“Yeah.”_

Mokona, after some deliberation, has found a floating log, and is paddling it down the river, keeping pace with us whilst humming cheerfully. I wish I could feel like that, even for a little bit. I wonder what it's like in Mokona's head. If it's like it is on the outside, on the inside.

_“So that's it, Mage? It's hard so you don't want to talk about it? I can sympathise, but I don't think it's strange of me to be saying you've been suspicious as hell for the last few days.”_

_“There's not that much more to say._

Drip. Drip. Drip. It's not that warm, either.

_“Who was Yuui-san to you?_

_“I told you, Kurogane, that he was a relative of mine who passed away.”_

_“That's not what I asked, and you know it.”_

_“I... don't think I need to give you every part of me, just to be trusted with the children._

_“I guess that's telling me a lot, without telling me.”_

_“I think it may be.”_

_“Even so. I'm not_ good _with children, you know. I'm an exile. A violent exile. The next best thing to a criminal. When you won't open up to me, it's not just you I'm worried about. I don't know what's going to upset you, or cause you to clam up like this again._ Are _you going to do it again?”_

_“Heh, that depends. Are you going to ask me about Yuui again?”_

_“...I don't mind seeing this other side of you, you know.”_

Kurogane kicks a stone too and I don't like how he sways his whole body to do it, even if he's very strong. Which I know he is. I take a deep breath. They're definitely not fighting any more, which will be nice for everybody. But I hope he doesn't relax too much and drop the princess.

_“I'm good enough to be around you all, I think. I'm giving the team enough of myself to protect, and cheer, and inform. ...I am actually sorry I can't be more to you all.”_

_“Don't take it to heart. But you should know that this conversation might not be over yet.”_

It's not far now. To the inn, and to the two kind Fai doubles. Fai-san said he was the double of Yuui-san, but if there's a Fai-san too, is that really the case? I wonder if it really matters or not, with identical twins? Every iteration of the same person we've found between different worlds has necessarily been different to one another. Are twins really more different than that? I wonder how you could study something like that. How you quantify the difference between two people. Where blood comes into it, and upbringing. And things like _hitsuzen._

_“I know.”_

I don't really want to stay longer than it takes to pick up the bags. I hope Fai-san won't mind. I got the feeling, somehow, that he didn't want to stay around his other selves for any longer than he had to. Strange, I feel like it bothered me more, when I first noticed it.

_“Kurogane? I forgive you for that.”_

_“Thanks.”_

Drip. Drip. She must be so _cold_.

_“Fai? I forgive you for whatever crap you're gonna tell me next time I have to ask.”_

What was I thinking about again?


End file.
